Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
