I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
