so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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