He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize