Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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