I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
