I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
