My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
