Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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