thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
