Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
