im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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