Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize