I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
