So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
