she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
