My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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