Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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