my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
