I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
