I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
