Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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