Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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