Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize