I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
3 2 1 whiskey
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
