i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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