Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
