the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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