xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
