College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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