he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
