we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
