White coat. Heels.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
