Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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