it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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