Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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