chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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