btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize