Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize