Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize