OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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