Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
