Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
