So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
