i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
