There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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