just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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