Where is the hickey?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize