He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
