with your own penis?
from now on my penis is your penis
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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