i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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