Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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