But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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