Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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