id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
