Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
smell my finger.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
