1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize