He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
